Postpartum Care Plan
Having a baby is a major life event and it effects every woman in a different way. Some of us feel that we’ve come into our own, some of us feel unsure we’re truly cut out for motherhood. Whether becoming a mother has made you feel heroic or fearful, know that you’re not alone. Most of us have feelings on both sides of the parenthood spectrum, from “I’m killing it over here!” to “This is the absolute worst”. The effects of having a baby show up in our lifestyles, in the physiological changes of our bodies, and of course, emotionally. There is so much that includes postpartum care - caring for yourself after the birth, caring for your mental state, and caring for you family without stretching yourself thin. We often focus on the first two in birth work because we want to remind the mother that her well-being is equally as important as that of her child. There is a strong urge to care for our children and our family after birth and the execution of that desire is important to note in postpartum care. However, that can’t be accomplished if you don’t take care of yourself.
self-care
In one of my first posts, I discuss postpartum self-care and how it’s so necessary. I talk about how I wish I had committed to do more for myself the first time around. I’ll definitely up my self-care routine this time around. I intend to add regular exercise to my postpartum journey, once I’ve been cleared to do so. Since it will be so cold, I won’t be able to take 20+ minutes with the dog and kids. I plan to add yoga then Pilates back into my routine. How? I have no idea! Maybe I’ll do it first thing in the morning. Maybe it will become part of my night-time routine. Maybe I’ll fit it in where I can. I know that exercise makes me feel good; moving my body has been good for me throughout my pregnancy. I talked a lot about how I neglected my hair after my first pregnancy. I put my hair in braids to give myself a break from doing my hair every week. It looks nice with minimal effort and that already makes me feel good! I’ll definitely continue to take my daily showers but I’ll incorporate using my jade rollers and taking the extra five minutes to help my skin. I may not have tons of time do these things but they make me feel good about myself and that makes them worth doing.
mental health
Regarding my mental health, I plan to show myself a ton of grace over the next couple of months. I plan to take things slowly, just like at the end of this pregnancy. I’m thankful that I didn’t struggle with my mental health when Lucas was born. This baby will be, whoever he is going to be. We’ll learn about his likes and dislikes together. My patience will be tested, I will be exhausted, but I know that every phase is temporary. My toddler will be, a toddler. He deserves grace too! This transition will be odd and new for him. He will eventually learn to be more patient and that this new baby is part of his family. My husband will be tired and stressed to provide for our family of four. He will also have new responsibilities in our home. He certainly deserves grace. The newness of it all will eventually fade and we will adjust and grow together. Will I cry over spilt milk? Absolutely! Especially if it’s breastmilk. Will I feel completely inadequate at times? For sure. Knowing that these are all normal and healthy parts of the journey are a huge help to me. Do I know the difference between baby blues and PPD? Yes. Will I be mindful if the bad days become bad weeks and I begin to feel hopeless? Yes. Giving myself grace doesn’t mean ignoring if my mental health feels like it’s deteriorating. I deserve to be the healthiest version of myself, for myself. This is the most important part of my postpartum care plan. It’s not the workouts or the eating well. It’s making sure that I’m giving myself the space to be wherever I am after the birth, to show up for myself so that I can show up for my family and build a strong foundation for this next phase of our lives.
family care
I take great pride in taking care of my family and our home. I clean regularly - they think it’s for them but it’s mostly for my own sanity. I really enjoy cooking; even if my son has entered his picky phase and only likes PB&J every other day. However, I know that I will have to prioritize rest over cleaning and my mental health over standing over the stove. I don’t enjoy meal prepping and I’m not a big fan of crock pot meals - I haven’t been able to make one that I wholeheartedly love. Thankfully, it’s soup season so that means we’ll be having lots of easy meals like chicken soup and chili. When Lucas was born I took inventory of everything we had in the fridge/freezer every Sundays and planned out our meals for the week. That is something I’m going to be doing again. We’ll start using grocery delivery to get us through the cold winter months because taking two kids out in the NE winter is going to be no joke. I’ll also be accepting the help of family and friends throughout the six weeks. This is one of the hardest things for me and for truthfully for any mom. I’ll be reminding myself regularly that done is better than not even if it’s not the way I do it. Hopefully, I’ll be too tired to care about the way things are being done and simply thankful that someone is there to help. We do plan to make our own Thanksgiving dinner (because there are some once-a-year foods we refuse to live without) and to celebrate Christmas at home. It takes a lot of pressure off of us to be home and not traveling. It will also be very special to have that time to spend with our boys.
I encourage every mother to come up with a postpartum care plan whether you are hiring a doula or not. Below you’ll least three questions regarding these topics that you should ask yourself. I think this is a good starting place to get you thinking about what you want your life to look like after having your child. You’re so much more likely to follow a plan if there is a plan in place.
Self-Care
Is there something small you can do from the day you get home that makes you feel good?
What activity is non-negotiable for you?
How can my partner help me care for myself?
Mental Health
Do I know the difference between baby blues and postpartum depression? Does my spouse/partner?
In what ways can I extend grace to myself during the postpartum period?
Do I have friends/family in the area I can trust and talk to about my feelings?
Family Care
What tasks can I delegate to my partner/family members to help keep the household running?
Are we in a position to hire help, if needed?
What activities am I willing to let go undone until I’m in a better position to do them?