No Two Pregnancies Are the Same

So what they say IS true - no two pregnancies are the same, even if they are both yours. The most obvious difference is that I didn’t have a toddler during my first pregnancy. However, there are other major life differences like being two years older, which seems to matter to my body more than I thought it would! We live in an apartment that will fit our family comfortably, so we won’t be preparing to move and I know that at least for awhile, I’ll be a stay-at-home mom. I outline major differences in my first and current pregnancies below, including my recent diagnosis of gestational hypertension.

First Pregnancy

I had morning sickness for the first 14 weeks, I had a mild case of placenta previa that resolved within 8 weeks, I had pregnancy insomnia in my first and third trimester to name a few of the minuses. On the easy side, I worked full-time at a job 25/30 minutes from my home, I only had to walk the dog once a day, and I had tons of time to read up on pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding. I ate whatever I wanted - within my allergy restrictions and saw my doctor at the regular intervals. I was induced at around 41 weeks with Lucas. My labor lasted about 12 hours from when my water was broken and I pushed for about 20 minutes. Luke’s birth, even via induction felt empowering. 

Current Pregnancy

I had morning sickness and motion sickness (even while driving) for the first 16 weeks. Instead of that come and go feeling, the nausea and sickness came and stayed. This pretty much effected everything I did, including work. I started staying home with Lucas just before I hit the 20-week mark. It was a big life change but it’s been great to spend these last few months with him as an only child. I have also experienced insomnia in the first and third trimesters during this pregnancy. What I didn’t expect to experience was gestational hypertension. I’m a pretty healthy person. I go on daily 20-40 minute walks with Lucas and our dog Ulysses. I’m allergic to yeast and dairy, so I eat about 85% of my meals at home. By the proper definition, I don’t have “high” blood pressure but since it’s been elevated a few times since week 22, my doctor would prefer to proceed with caution. Elevated blood pressure puts me at risk for developing pre-eclampsia and that’s not a risk worth taking. Due to this, I have bi-weekly non-stress tests and once a week ultrasounds to make sure that the baby is doing well. Thankfully, I have no other symptoms and my BP has been fairly regular since the diagnosis. He’s healthy and active so the test only lasts about 20 minutes once I’m on the monitor. It’s probably the most chill 30 minutes of my day and I usually bring a book along to read. To be completely honest, some days I find the appointments tedious; it’s a lot of appointments. However, the other day, as I was sitting through my test, I could hear another mom getting ready for hers. She mentioned that her baby had been under some stress and not moving as much as she should. She told the nurses that she had been having higher blood pressure readings than normal since the discovery. I was immediately grateful that I have a doctor willing to keep a close eye on me and Baby H2. I’m glad that we’re not willing to take the chance of waiting to see if I develop pre-eclampsia. I’m thankful to have a really active baby, even if his movements make me a bit uncomfortable these days. On top of all the testing, I’ll be induced during week 37 of my pregnancy - so in just over two weeks, as opposed to letting nature take its course in the next five or so weeks. All the resources, books, and professionals I’ve consulted regarding this condition have reminded me, repeatedly, that we are doing the right thing. 

I can say when I was first diagnosed I felt a little guilty and I had to remind myself that sometimes these things happen! They call it gestational hypertension because it’s unlikely I’d have this issue if I weren’t pregnant. I asked my doctor if I could do anything differently and he said I should cut my salt intake and I’ve done that drastically. But a few good readings are not worth risking my health or the baby’s health. As I said in a previous post, my goal is to make it to term and leave the hospital with my baby. Delivering after 38 weeks increases the chance that I could develop pre-eclampsia and the “wait until my water breaks” approach is not an option. Although I’ll be considered “early term”, I’ll absolutely take it. I’ve chosen to see the positives in this situation such as: I can plan for the birth! From making arrangements for Lucas, to packing my hospital bag, I can have things in place because I know when I’ll be going to the hospital. I haven’t been officially diagnosed with pre-eclampsia so if I continue to eat well and exercise, chances are good that nothing will change prior to or after my induction. Since women can develop postpartum pre-eclampsia up to six weeks after giving birth, I’ll be carefully monitored in the 48 hours after I give birth. I have the benefit of knowing that even if I’m slightly at risk, I should keep an eye out for anything that doesn’t feel right once I’m home.

It is a little weird to talk about my own pregnancy complications/interventions but as a doula, my job isn’t to keep information to myself. I’m supposed to shed light on pregnancy and the conditions of pregnancy so that women feel more comfortable and more educated about the processes and their choices. As I’m experiencing something several women experience first hand, I feel a greater appreciation for my vocation. Interventions don’t have to be the worst thing. They don’t have to mean a bad pregnancy experience. Interventions can be empowering. Knowing that you are taking your health seriously is empowering; knowing that you are putting you and your baby first is be empowering; validating the trust you have in your physician or midwife is empowering. 

Here are some things I encourage you to do if you’ve been confronted with an unexpected diagnosis during your pregnancy:

Ask Questions 

You are your first advocate. I will admit that I wasn’t even sure what it’d mean for me to have gestation hypertension - aka the induction at 37 weeks. I did know it would mean my pregnancy would be closely monitored, though I didn’t know how closely. Since the appointment where I was told I had gestational hypertension, I’ve asked lots of questions of my doctor and the nurses. I’ve gotten pretty familiar with the L&D nurses at this point, also a bonus.

Educate Yourself via Credible Resources 

Don’t just consult Google. Google is great but if you don’t have books, I recommend looking it up with the World Health Organization. They give definitions, recommendations for prevention, and a course or treatment for the condition. You’ll know immediately if the things your physician or midwife are suggesting fall in line with the information presented. You’ll be in a good place to ask questions if there is something that you don’t understand or see an option you that hasn’t been considered. 

Give Yourself Time to Process 

You’re allowed to be disappointed if you need interventions during your pregnancy or birth. You don’t have to jump into positivity mode. I jumped into planning mode but that’s just part of my style. I like to feel as prepared as possible for what is to come. I was induced with my first pregnancy so I have a good idea of what to expect. I still wonder if it will go as smoothly being that I’m not “overdue” or if I’ll need further interventions. I can only plan for so many things but I have to keep in mind that my goal is to leave the hospital with my baby. It’s not with preference to one type of birth or another. Focusing on your birth goals with help you process your feelings about your diagnosis. If you’re in an emergency situation and find yourself with little to no time to process through your feelings. You can still process or even grieve for the experience you desired, after the baby is born. There is no time limit on processing your birthing experience. 

I wish nothing but smooth and eventless pregnancies for my friends, family members, and clients. However if you find yourself in a situation where you need interventions, you may also need extra support. A doula can help you understand what is/ what will happen and be by your side to support you through the changes in your birth plan.